I am one of the last people to call "bully". Honestly, I think the word is thrown around way too much today. Things that in years past were just mean are now grounds for removal from school or even worse. I'm generally under the umbrella of those who feel like the generations coming up are becoming more and more sensitive, and not in a good way.
That being said, a few years ago, when Cora was in 5th grade, she was bullied. At first I pretty much told her some kids are just mean and to not listen to them. I told her her worth is found in Christ and not what some dumb kid says or thinks. (This is true, btw, but not necessarily helpful in this situation.) As time progressed I came to realize it was more than just some stupid kid being a, well, stupid kid. Cora was being bullied.
Cora is clinically OCD, which means her brain tells her she "has" to do certain things. She also has something called Irlen's Syndrome. Irlen's Syndrome "is a perceptual processing disorder. It is not an optical problem. It is a problem with the brain's ability to process visual information" (http://irlen.com/what-is-irlen-syndrome/). Along with OCD and Irlen's, she is also dyslexic. What this all means is that the information Cora sees in written form does not always translate into her brain correctly, and the reverse of that is that what Cora thinks does not always come out written, and sometimes said, the way she meant.
Most people know about dyslexia. The simplest explanation is that letters and words often get reversed. Compound this with Irlen's, which in Cora's case means she sees written pages as if she were watching the opening credits of Star Wars--the words on the page are constantly moving up on her. She also sees sparkles all over the page. Black on white writing (which is the majority of books and schoolwork), and computer work make these issues more prevalent.
She was diagnosed with Irlen's in 1st grade, thank goodness, earlier than most people discover it. This meant we were able to get her the proper help and aid her in her disability. The help did not however cure these things, as there is no cure, and though over the years she has adapted her learning, she still has issues. One of these issues is switching letters around.
So, back to the fifth grade problems. Cora was working in a group one day and was tasked with writing out the ideas the group had. One particular word had a "d" in it and she wrote a "b" instead. The entire group snickered and jeered, but one boy took it even farther, telling her she should be in kindergarten instead of 5th grade, since she couldn't even tell the difference in a D and a B. She held her emotions in for school, but came home crushed. Things like this continued to happen frequently. By the time Christmas break rolled around she was begging me to pull her out and homeschool her. I told her, basically, she needed to suck it up, but sometime during the 2nd semester God spoke and told me she needed to be homeschooled the next year.
She had done a 180 from a sweet, caring girl who loved to be in school and see people to becoming an introverted, self-conscious, inwardly-drawn little girl who dreaded going to school. Jake and I began to honestly worry about her and her state of mind and being. Part of me knew she was in a loving home and was constantly being told how smart she was, how wrong those kids were, and how loved she was. That part of me knew that more than likely she wouldn't do anything drastic. The other part of me was terrified, constantly checking in on her, constantly in a state of worry, and constantly wanting and having to force myself not to go confront those kids and their parents.
We are fortunate. Many kids would have turned to some scary things during this time.
We did a lot of research and prayed and finally chose to have Cora become a part of Odyssey Charter School; it's a virtual school with a one day a week face-to-face with teachers. This setup seemed ideal, being able to work at home at her own pace, able to get extra help when needed while being able to get quickly through other things. She would also still have some outside social time, without it being overwhelming.
The first year, 6th grade, her teacher came to her once a week for one on one training. A few months in both her teacher and I began to notice a change in her, she was becoming happy again. She was less withdrawn and was really loving school again.
She made straight As that year.
And every year since.
She has not once let any subject on her report card fall below an A, in fact, she gets upset when any grade falls below a 95% and prefers them to be at or above 100. She has taken only honors and AP classes. She was #3 in her grade last year.
A few nights ago she was inducted into the National Honor Society.
She met with her counselor last week and has decided to graduate a year early, so she will be graduating next year at the age of 16.
I say all this to say: You are not defined by what other people say or do. You are not defined by your diagnosis. The only limits you have are those you put on yourself. You are "remarkably and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14, CSB); if you would only look beyond your circumstances, your past, your "limitations" and see yourself the way you were created, by a Master-Craftsman who has amazing plans for your life, "For I know the plans I have for you”—this is the Lord’s declaration—“plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11, CSB).
